96 Thoughts I Had Whilst Watching the Game of Thrones Episode, "Stormborn"

Monday, 24 July 2017

Last week, riddled by insomnia and far from sleep, I thought that it would be a good idea to give the internet my thoughts on the Game of Thrones premiere. I didn't think that I would like it, I didn't even think that I would be able to get through the episode, but the content of the premiere was a rather shocking surprise. Ever since, the show has got me hooked like it did in the old days, and I've been wondering all week what will happen next in the journey towards the Long Night.
So, why don't we find out?
  1. It's so weird comparing the map in the opening sequence to the one in the first season. I mean, apart from King's Landing and Winterfell, I'm pretty sure that all the places in which the drama happens during the season seven, are new.
  2. She might be called "Stormborn" but I can't imagine that Dany is used to weather like this.
  3. Yeah, but you're not Viserys, are you Dany? He never ruled over any people or land, despite being the rightful heir to the throne, he was nothing more than a boy whose crown had gotten snatched away before he had even gotten the chance to wear it. And, after the far too long occupation of Mereen, now you can actually call yourself a Queen.
  4. "Queen of the Ashes"?? Looking more and more like a possibility nowadays
  5. Please don't kill Varys!
  6. Even though his power is subtle and hidden, not obvious like Cersei's showboating, he wields a great deal so I could definitely get behind Varys as the King of Westeros, if that is ever a possibility. Although, because his power is subtle and hidden, I don't know if he would ever accept the job, I think that he prefers it behind-the-scenes
  7. Varys always makes me think of Littlefinger as they're really opposite sides of the same coin. They both plot and scheme and spy, but Varys is doing it for the good of the people, whilst Littlefinger is doing it to advance his own position.
  8. Varys and Dany are really a perfect match. There has always been the worry that Dany's story will include the same Targaryen madness and penchant for burning things (evidence of this has already been shown) as her father, but with Varys by her side, he should be able to avert this ending to her story. Like, I love Jorah as much as the next person, but he was far too blinded by his love for her to ever step in and tell her that she was making a mistake.
  9. Oh fuuuuuuuuuck. This is not good.
  10. Missandei dropping grammatical corrections that we've wanted to know since the prophecy's first mention - "the prince or princess who was promised". Oh, you babe.
  11. Is Melisandre just going to jump round Westeros proclaiming everyone "the prince who was promised"??? It can't be fucking everyone
  12. First mention of Jon Snow to Dany. I like where this is going.
  13. Those archers aren't exactly Arya, are they? They should bring her North to train them
  14. "All dwarves are bastards in their fathers' eyes" Tyrion certainly fixed that, didn't he?
  15. Go, Jon! Go meet with her!
  16. Would the Dothrakis survive north of the Wall? Would they even survive the conditions of the North?
  17. I'm kind of gutted that they've replaced Freddie Stroma as Dickon Tarly. He plays arrogant arsehole incredibly well.
  18. And you and your army, wouldn't do any of that, Cersei? Isn't that what has already happened in places like the Riverlands? I know we're not seeing much of what is happening to the common people of Westeros, but they're definitely getting the worst end of this deal.
  19. Jaime remembers the horrors that the Mad King inflicted on his people. Hopefully enough to eventually kill the real person who is following in his footsteps. 
  20. Let me give you a clue as to who that is: their name starts with 'C' ends with 'ersei'
  21. Technically I don't believe Dany has actually ever fed someone to her dragons
  22. Although Dany's actions, without the context behind them, are rather easy to turn into a story like this. She probably should've put more thought into her reputation and how her actions would be viewed, as an important part of ruling is image control. Cersei has it nailed (it's probably the only thing she's good at), Dany, not so much.
  23. Qyburn at work on a solution??? That will never end well
  24. "Rickard is it?" "Dickon" LOL
  25. Lord Tarly is supposedly one of the greatest battle commanders ever, he's a good ally to have but his personality fucking sucks.
  26. Fucking hell, Jorah looks awful.
  27. Suicide?? You're proposing suicide???
  28. If that is just the skull, I'd hate to see the rest of the dragon.
  29. What the fuck is that?
  30. God, I hate what they've done to Ellaria.
  31. I like how they've all come together as tenuous allies. It's a good dynamic, but I don't know how long it's going to be until someone turns on the rest of them.
  32. They're hitting Casterly Rock?? I can imagine that Tyrion took extra-special joy putting together that plan
  33. I wonder if Olenna's influence on Dany will lead to victory, or a spiral into madness. Whilst Varys is there for the good of the people and to tell Dany that she's going crazy, Olenna will probably encourage those traits in her. It will be interesting to see what kind of Queen she becomes under both of their influences.
  34. I ship Greyworm and Missandei so damn hard.
  35. Greyworm has become so damn eloquent. Even I am getting wooed by his words
  36. That's not fear, that's looooove
  37. Damn, she's got such a good body. I'm so jealous
  38. Oh, so that's how the Unsullied have sex. No complaints here
  39. I was waiting for a title drop
  40. "May I just have a moment?" "This is your moment. Use it wisely."
  41. I can't help but still find comedy from Sam, even though the conversation is so serious
  42. Jorah is using his final moments to send a letter to Dany and I love him even more than I thought that I could
  43. I mean, of course they're not really his final moments, but you get what I mean
  44. "You're not dying today, Ser Jorah" Eeeeeeeeeeeee
  45. Fucking hell, I love Sam
  46. Jorah's like, "wtf am I getting myself into?" and I don't blame him
  47. Please don't tell me we're going to watch Sam flay Jorah
  48. Oh shit, yes we are
  49. Oh wow, what a disgusting scene transition
  50. Hot Pie!
  51. "Have you been making pies?" "One or two" Oh poor, innocent Hot Pie
  52. I don't know how she can still eat pies. I definitely wouldn't be able to
  53. But then I don't think I'd be able to cook people-pies in the first place
  54. I love that, in-universe, they call it the Battle of the Bastards
  55. Does this mean that Jon and Arya are going to finally be reunited? 
  56. Their dynamic will be far better than his and Sansa's
  57. Although I think that, after Arya's time at the House of Black and White, their views will be even more opposing
  58. Please let Hot Pie survive the wars to come
  59. South to King's Landing? Or North to Winterfell? That is the question
  60. Side note: I've been watching too much Love Island recently and now I've got Crossroads by Blazing Squad in my head
  61. Arya choosing to go North means there's a little of her old self still there
  62. Jon, you're great and everything, but your map is definitely the shittest
  63. Dragonstone = dragonglass. It shouldn't have taken them Sam going to Oldtown to work this out, let's be honest
  64. Uh-oh, we definitely don't need another rebellion. If Jon goes off to Dragonstone, 100% the Lords of the Vale (who's actually governing over the Vale whilst they argue in the North?) will lead one. I don't trust Yohn Royce and I know it's not just because he's character in Heartbeat was an arse.
  65. Sansa really needs to stop undermining Jon in front of their subjects, it gives others permission to do the same
  66. "Winter is here. We need the King of the North in the north" As much as I want Jon to go dashing off to Dragonstone, Lyanna has a point
  67. Don't give the North to Sansa! This is exactly like when Robb gave Winterfell to Theon... and look how well that turned out
  68. Anything that Littlefinger looks happy about, is the wrong decision
  69. Wow, that statue really looks like Sean Bean. Bravo props department
  70. Oh fuck off, Littlefinger, you're the one who plotted his death
  71. Littlefinger's accent is such an horrendous acting choice. I liked it better when he lurked silently in dark corners
  72. Kill him, kill him, kill him
  73. Jon should've killed him. Everyone knows what Littlefinger is like when his pride his hurt
  74. I know that it's a sign that winter, and the white walkers, are coming, but the snow is so damn pretty
  75. I wonder who this could be... #theinternetspoilseverything
  76. Nymeria is alive, bitches
  77. And she's fucking huge
  78. Nooooooooooooo!
  79. Like Ellaria, I hate what they've done to the Sand Snakes
  80. I mean, they've been in the show three(?) seasons now and I still don't know whose who
  81. Theon being the third wheel really does sum up his life at this point
  82. "A boy in every port?" "A boy, a girl. It depends on the port." I love Yara
  83. An incestuous threesome? Oh I've seen it all now
  84. How did Euron capture the ship so easily?
  85. He's more like a rockstar than supposedly terrifying pirate. I mean, his ship is not even painted red
  86. If this was real, with the state that he's in, would Theon really survive this battle?
  87. It's weird how quickly he's bounced back from years of emotional and physical torture at the hands of Ramsay Bolton
  88. He had an arrow in his carotid artery, how is Euron still even alive?
  89. Some enchantments, perhaps?
  90. Dany's chances of taking over King's Landing with the Iron Fleet are looking rather bleak
  91. He jumped into the sea??? He JUMPED into the SEA?????
  92. What the fuck are you doing, Theon?
  93. I mean, he's probably saving himself to go back and report to Dany, but Yara is his sister - would he really abandon her like that??
  94. What is even keeping Theon afloat?
  95. Although if it's a dead body, I would really rather not know
  96. He's like Rose from Titanic, now, if only he had a whistle...

109 Thoughts I Had Whilst Watching the Season 7 Premiere of Game of Thrones

Monday, 17 July 2017

After, what has to be, one of the loooongest break ever, Game of Thrones is finally back on our screens and I, inspired the Pretty Little Liars finale edition I read over on Buzzfeed a few weeks ago, thought I would do a sort-of written commentary on the season seven premiere. Honestly, last season and I did not get along, thanks to the absence of the books as a story framework and the fact that Sansa had to be raped to create drama, but with the sheer amount of hype that is surrounding Game of Thrones and its return to the small screen in 2017, I thought I would give in and give the first episode, at least a fair shot.
  1. Even the recap is so damn epic and dramatic. Just watching it gives me a surprisingly good feeling about this season. 
  2. Walder Frey???? Isn't he dead???
  3. Someone's acting incredibly unlike himself. I mean, I'm pretty sure that Walder Frey's main characteristic is that, no matter what his many (so damn many) sons do, he's perpetually disappointed in them. And now he's all like, "what's the point in being lord of the river lands if you can't celebrate with your family"??? #Suspicious
  4. "Winter has come" Oh, I know where this is going
  5. "Proper wine for proper heroes"? Bollocks
  6. Even though he's probably just Arya with a new face, I am so happy that David Bradley is back on our screens. He's so talented, such a British icon and definitely one of the greats
  7. What are they doing? Don't cheer to the red wedding!!! How can Walder Frey's own family not realise such a drastic personality change??
  8. Oh shiiiiiiiiiiit
  9. Ugh, the removing-face-reveal will never not freak me out
  10. "Tell them winter came for House Frey" Yes, Arya!
  11. I don't know whether to cheer or be terrified at the transformation that Arya has gone under, over the last six seasons
  12. They need to seriously get rid of the little wooden stag carving in the Game of Thrones title card because all of the Baratheons are so damn dead
  13. Ominous black cloud? Oh fuck
  14. Oh fuck x1000000
  15. WUN WUN??????????
  16. Why did I think that Meera was dead?
  17. Please don't tell me that Edd and the other three are the only members of the Night's Watch that are still standing. I mean, apart from Jon of course
  18. How can you dig with a bow and arrow?
  19. Lyanna Mormont is spectacular. I mean, I'm not for child soldiers of any gender but if they're all like her, they might actually have a shot at surviving in this crapsack world
  20. Ugh, I hate Littlefinger and his lurking in the shadows
  21. I love that Jon still calls them the Free Folk. He's so PC
  22. Why are the knights of the Vale there?? Don't they have the Vale to attend to??
  23. Isn't handing someone a castle that should've been someone else's what caused all of this mess in the first place? Sansa says she's learnt a lot in King's Landing and yet still suggests something that will very quickly lead to the North making enemies. THIS is why Jon is in charge
  24. Sansa is becoming so vicious against her enemies, just like Cersei, Dany and Arya. Is that what it takes to be a woman on the winning side in Westeros, a merciless policy on punishing those (and people who are associated with those) who have wronged you?
  25. Look at how Littlefinger relishes in the friction and the disagreement. What a snake
  26. She's 100% going to end up revolting against Jon
  27. Jon's leadership-style reminds me so much of Ned's. Let's just hope that his ends better than his father/uncle's
  28. WHAT?? There is such a big difference between not wanting your subjects to see you arguing, and killing everyone that disagrees with you. Sansa and her personality and her mentality has changed so much of the past six seasons and now, from her being one of my favourite characters in the books, I'm actually beginning to dislike her
  29. I never thought I would think that
  30. Also, how has Sophie Turner still not nailed a Northern accent??? "Why are you lahhhh-ughing?" It's so damn distracting
  31. Okay, so maybe she has a point about Ned and Robb..
  32. Cersei, now is not the time
  33. "Bend the knee or suffer the fate of all traitors" SEE: Sansa has spent far too much time under her influence
  34. Hmmmm, let's see: human queen who occasionally likes to burn people, or 1000000s of ice zombies who can reanimate the dead?? Yes Sansa, you are completely right that Cersei is the one that everyone should be worried about
  35. She does sound like she admires her. Which is weird because she subjected her to god know's how many months of extreme mental and physical torture. I'm starting to think it's some kind of Stockholm Syndrome... like Ramsay and Reek
  36. Oh, that map is beautiful. What marvellous set design
  37. I feel like I've missed something, but isn't Jaime still a member of the King/Queensguard so shouldn't he still be wearing white?... Has he ever worn white? I'm so confused
  38. I bet that map painter is so pissed. He's creating this masterpiece and both Jaime and Cersei are stepping all over it
  39. I know that those who haven't ever read the books don't actually know what Westeros looks like, but is this relevant for anything over than exposition???
  40. Cersei's coat is fucking awful
  41. "Are you scared of me?" Fuck yes he is
  42. Speaking of Tyrion, who actually is Cersei's hand?
  43. Wait - the enemies to the West are the Tyrells? Most of them are dust thanks to her (RIP my love Loras)
  44. Jaime is right, Cersei does look like the losing side, so he needs to jump ship to the other one as soon as fucking possible
  45. You can't have a dynasty if there's only one generation, is Cersei planning on having more children? Can she even have more children?
  46. Cersei reaching for the wine as soon as Tommen is mentioned, solidifies the theory that her Queenship is going to very much resemble her late-husband's
  47. Tommen betrayed you??? Tommen committed suicide because you set his fucking wife on fire, Cersei, I think that you're actually the one who betrayed him
  48. Out of all of the characters in play, are there even any characters left that would consider being their allies?? 
  49. Fuck no, fuck no, fuck no
  50. Euron Greyjoy is most certainly one of the scariest characters in the books and I have heard that they're going to make him even worse in the show, so this is officially an alliance with him is officially the worst idea that Cersei has ever had. She keeps saying that she's learnt all that she knows from Tywin, but would he have made such a terrible tactical decision? Fuck no
  51. Jaime is certainly becoming the straight man to whatever type of batshit crazy Cersei is spiralling into
  52. His dialogue is fantastic. I mean, everything that he says and the way Nikolaj delivers it, is just spot-on every time
  53. Hasn't Euron been saying that he wants to marry Dany
  54. I don't know what it is about his costuming but Euron looks so modern (I've legitimately just paused GOT and zoomed in, because I'm convinced that he's wearing jeans, if that's not what they are they certainly look like them)
  55. I don't like Cersei's crown either. Her colour palette is really off. I get that making her wearing black to 'face her enemies' is dramatic and everything, but the red and green made her look far less militaristic and severe. The colours are so faded and dull that it actually looks like she's scorched them
  56. Jaime's chest plate is slightly burgundy-red, I don't see why that collar thing of Cersei's can't be as well
  57. I hate how they've replaced Euron's eyepatch with the shittest scar ever
  58. Are there stars on Euron's jacket?????
  59. Is he trying to make the Iron Islands an independent territory? What happened to complete world dominion, eh Euron?.. Although I suppose this could turn into a WW2-Hitler situation, in which Cersei has to continuously give Euron more land to keep him as an ally
  60. Jaime's like "are you seriously falling for this shit?" And so am I
  61. One of Cersei's main flaws is that she always thinks that she's the smartest person in the room, and guess what?! She never is. Did she learn anything from her run-in with the High Sparrow???
  62. "Two good hands" #shade
  63. Jaime's how-fucking-dare-he look is the best thing ever. He would never let someone talk about Cersei the way that she is allowing Euron to speak about him right now, she literally does not give two shits about him
  64. Priceless gift????? Please tell me that he means the hell horn
  65. Fucking hell that's a beautiful library
  66. I feel so sorry for Sam - Jon gets to be King of the North whilst he cleans bedpans at the Citadel. Fuck, that's disgusting
  67. Everyone knows that any book worth reading is in the restricted section
  68. Are the books chained to the bookshelves?
  69. Hey, it's only JIM fucking BROADBENT! Holy fuck, I didn't realise that he was going to be popping up
  70. Helping with autopsies? Sam officially has the worst job ever
  71. I could literally sit here and listen to Jim Broadbent all day
  72. "Every winter that ever came, has ended" If I didn't already have a similar quote, I'd definitely be getting this tattooed on me
  73. Even though Jaime/Brienne is one of my OTPs, I definitely love the banter between her and Tormund
  74. Poor Pod
  75. Did I see a reaction in regards to Brienne beating the Hound, Sansa? Please, if she survives, give her him as a love interest instead of Littlefinger
  76. Sansa basically telling Littlefinger to fuck off, is my favourite thing ever
  77. Even though I knew Ed Sheeran was coming, I'm still surprised and I still hate it
  78. Wait, he's in Lannister-red? Does that mean she's going to kill him?
  79. Oh no please don't, they're nice
  80. Okay, so her vengeance doesn't spread to every Lannister soldier like Lady Stonehart's would've done. That makes me feel better
  81. Wait - is Beric Dondarrion still alive??? With how many times that man has died and been brought back to life, by now he should be barely a man
  82. Why does Thoros of Myr have a topknot???? It's so out-of-place
  83. Thank god I wasn't the only one who noticed
  84. Wait - is Sandor feeling guilt? Wow, maybe an ending that has something to do with religion and repentance would not actually be that weird of an outcome anymore. Can you imagine if he becomes a follower of the Lord of Light? That'd be so weird
  85. I love Sandor. I've missed him so much
  86. But, has he always been missing an eyebrow? Either way, it is definitely an odd make-up decision
  87. I honestly can't remember if you have to have the 'ability' to see into the flames, or if anyone who fancies burning their retinas can do it??? If it's the former, this storyline is going to be very interesting. Hopefully, the brotherhood without banners' current destination is the Wall
  88. Even with it being so dark, the snow falling and the little bit of lighting, makes the grave digging scene rather poignantly beautiful
  89. Gilly's kid has gotten so big! The timeline of the show must be far longer than it seems
  90. Could the dragon glass under Dragonstone lead to the first meeting between Jon and Dany? Oh, how I hope so
  91. Fuck, Jorah? I'd recognise that voice anywhere. What the fuck is Jorah doing in the Citadel?
  92. Shiiiiiiit, his arm looks fucking awful. Side note: it's pretty damn obvious that GRRM has based greyscale on leprosy but I recently found out that, unlike greyscale, people can't actually die of it. So in the Middle Ages, people with leprosy were shipped off to leper colonies to avoid them infecting the rest of the population, but not, as I'd previously thought to suffer a quick painful death, but rather to spend their entire lives there. All I keep thinking about is that some of those people were very young children and that the disease gave them a life sentence, as they'd be forced to stay in the colonies until they died of unrelated issues, or even of old age
  93. Of course a quick, painful death would've been fucking awful too, but I'm not too sure if it would be worse than a lifetime of loneliness and abandonment 
  94. I'm really looking forward to seeing what the rest of Jorah looks like. Hey, here's to futile hope that the fatality rate of greyscale actually turns out to be the same as leprosy though. I really like Jorah and I don't want to see him in die like this
  95. Wait... Does the Citadel have him because they're performing experiments on him???? I don't even want to think about that
  96. With such a powerful team behind her, Dany is in an extremely powerful position right now, but I still don't think she's ever going to sit on the Iron Throne
  97. Her outfit looks like it's got dragon scales on it and I'm totally here for it. See, Cersei? This is how you should be representing your house and sigil via costume choices
  98. Please tell me those cliffs are all dragonglass. The boat and the people look so small against them and we certainly need that amount to stay alive
  99. Dany wearing heels is an interesting costume decision, but I'm not totally against them
  100. I hope Tyrion's hand-pin is the one from the King's Landing
  101. The filming location for Dragonstone is fucking beautiful
  102. The gloomy, severe interior of Dragonstone really makes me think of Stannis as it fits his personality so closely, so seeing Dany there is really odd. After six seasons of her scenes being a bright flash of colour against the more natural tones of Westeros, this sudden change is going to take a little while to get used to
  103. Aw, Stannis' sigil. For all of the shitty things that he did, Stannis really was the true heir to the throne and I honestly could not help but grow to like him
  104. The design of that throne is so odd... Is it made of dragon glass???
  105. Dany step away from the demon-baby-making table
  106. I remember watching that scene and wondering why Stannis had a garage. I may be crazy, but to me, the poles at the far end of the room really looked like the borders of its doors
  107. The clip that Dany is fastening her braids back with, is a miniature dragon and it's my favourite thing about this episode, no question
  108. Aegon the Conqueror knew about the power of 3D dragon sculptures
  109. Don't say "shall we begin" and then finish, Dany, DON'T DO THIS TO ME